What if Dharma Begins Where Approval Ends?

By Rev. Michael Gadway

Dharma is not upheld by talking about it. Dharma is upheld by living in harmony with it. – Gautama Buddha

Breaking Free from the Need for External Validation

We spend so much time looking at ourselves through the world’s eyes, we lose our natural, intuitive ability to see into the depths of our own being. We have become enamored of the physical and material aspects of life. In our relentless pursuit of approval, success, and emotional gratification from the material world, we have forgotten the one thing we want most: to rest in the awareness of our true Self.

The desire to belong, to fit in, to step up and “be somebody” in the world, so constrains our view of Spirit that it is life-denying rather than life-affirming. When we set our egoistic aspirations above our Soul longings, we drown the truth of our being in the mediocrity of society. This impulse reveals itself in two ways: as those who wish to fit in and belong and as those who spend their time trying to be different and special. Both have missed the callings of the Soul.

When we constantly search for guidance and approval from an external locus of authority rather than an internal one, our inner vitality is eroded and we disempower our life force. The corresponding Soul-devaluation affects the essential fabric of our lives. The scope of our perception is then limited to a Soul numbing restricted view of the world and ourselves, and with it, we lose the joy and contentment secreted in the profoundness of being.

Discovering Your True Self Through Dharma

To counter this loss of Self-reliance and Self-awareness, we must discover and declare our intrinsic spiritual value to ourselves. We must learn to create and hold a sacred space within us and then stand strong in this inner sanctum with or without the world’s praise; this is the true meaning of Self-reliance. To dwell in this innermost tabernacle is to be established in our dharma. It becomes that which we invoke and that which sustains us. The vast spiritual space within us speaks in whispers, Soul urgings, and intuitions. This relationship with the indwelling Infinite becomes the foundation of our lives. It guides and supports, suggests and demands, pushes and pulls us towards the Source, and it fulfills our every need.

The Meaning and Evolution of Dharma in Spiritual Tradition

If we trace the origin of the term dharma, we discover that it meant simply, the law: the law of the cosmos and of nature. It was the basic principle in ritualistic worship and it inferred a transactional-karmic relationship with God; if we do this, we get that. If we sacrifice something important to us, we are rewarded with something even greater. We give to get. This theologically underdeveloped relationship with the God of the Old Testament still exists today.

Though it is a spiritually immature framework for relating to God, many people in prayer offer God something if they will only answer their prayers the way they want them to. We see this same now defunct spiritual model in the new thought movement as well. “If I think this way, I get what I want from life.” The mistaken belief that because we are individual units of Spirit, we can manipulate the world, blurs our awareness of our dharma which is found in the bliss of surrender, not in creating a world reactive to our egos.

What Is The Modern Usage of Dharma and Life Purpose

In the Rig Veda, dharma was referred to as the “pillars” of creation and there was little moral character applied to its meaning. But over the millennia, the term dharma evolved to signify one’s moral duty or righteous conduct. It began to have social and religious implications. Dharma took on ethical tones as the term law began to be applied to peoples’ daily behaviors. It was then adopted by the Buddhist and Jain movements before sweeping across Asia and eventually making its way into western lexicon.

As it was adapted into modern usage, it evolved to mean spiritual law, righteous living, and life’s purpose. The term dharma represents the need for us to find what unites us to God in life, work, and relationships. It is the universal and personal realization that there is an organizing principle that binds us all.

Living Your Dharma as an Expression of the Divine

The Buddhist scholar Rupert Gethin defines dharma as “The basis of things.” Dharma is the foundation of our lives. It is, in a real sense, the internal structural core and interior functional framework from which we view and interact with life.

Dharma is the living, spiritual story we inhabit. It is the timely woven thread of the Divine, and it runs through the fabric and tapestry of our being. Our journey is not to discover our dharma. Our journey is the reflection of our dharma and it does not come from an outward source. It is not mediated through church, minister, or therapist. Our walk in the world is the unfolding of our dharma. Our story is the sojourn of dharma, and the path before us is our dharma unfolding as a wondrous divine incongruity. It is the demonstration of our relationship with the Infinite. Realized in the depths of our true essence-of-being, dharma is God expressing through us, for us, and as us.

How Meditation Can Help Your Find Your Life Purpose

If you’re a spiritual seeker in Raleigh, I invite you to my weekly Wednesday night Guided Meditation for Presence & Purpose. All skill levels are welcome.

Can We Love Unconditionally?

A Reflection for Spiritual Seekers on the Meaning of Unconditional Love by Rev. Michael Gadway

“Love is the whole and more than all.” – E.E. Cummings

A Spiritual Understanding of Love

According to Vedic understanding, love is not a single emotion but a spectrum of forces that bind us to one another, to society, and to God. For spiritual seekers exploring practical spirituality and personal transformation, this offers a powerful lens into the nature of love.

At its most primordial level, love is known as Kama; Kama is desire, the impulse that moves the formless to form. It is the motivating energy behind all longing, creativity, and relationships. Kama may be transformed into Prema which is a selfless, altruistic love that seeks union without possession and it is connected to joy, generosity, and contentment. There is also a devotional longing for God that is referred to as Bhakti. Bhakti transforms love into surrender, where emotional attachment becomes a means of transcending individuality and recognizing the sacred in all existence.

The Vedas also recognize love as friendship, and differentiate friendship love from the love of a parent towards their child or child to their parent.

Taken together, these forms of love illustrate a layered understanding: love as desire that creates, affection that sustains, devotion that liberates, and compassion that unites. Rather than taking the position that worldly love and spiritual love are opposed to one another, the Vedic perspective weaves them into a single continuum, where everyday human relationships become stepping-stones toward the realization of unity between the Soul-self and the ultimate reality, God—an idea that deeply resonates with those seeking oneness and spiritual growth.

Love Beyond Definition: Expanding Consciousness

Love is trans-conceptual. It has been defined in a myriad of ways, all failing in inclusivity. It is often confused with bliss which is the natural state of the Soul resting in Self-awareness.

In the Buddhist tradition, love is a koan. It is a concept that defies explanation but, in our attempt to comprehend, we expand our consciousness. For those practicing meditation and mindfulness, love becomes less something to define and more something to experience and embody.

The Human Condition and the Limits of Unconditional Love

I often hear well-meaning spiritual teachers preaching about the importance of “unconditional love.” But unconditional love is not possible from a human being; we are conditioned beings. It is called the human condition after all.

This is a broad phrase describing what it is to be human and it includes a full range of “conditions” that we, as humans, experience. From these experiences, we create and live personal biases that shape our view of the world and our relationships.

Although unconditional love is a noble pursuit, it is impossible to achieve while embodied. It is an unachievable state of energetic awareness. It is not possible to create an unconditional energy from a conditioned being.

The Practice of Love as a Path of Personal Transformation

In stating this, I do not mean to imply that we should not attempt to share unconditional love. Like the Buddhist koan, in our endeavor to love unconditionally, we purify the ego and mind, expanding our consciousness, making us more fit receptacles for an unadulterated spiritual expression.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your Soul, and with all your mind.” – Matthew 22:37

This teaching aligns with a practical spirituality—one that invites us to live love in action as part of an ongoing journey of personal transformation.

Opening the Heart: Love as a Spiritual Gateway

Love is also a key used in many traditions to open the heart or the fourth chakra. It is the sacred whisper that unseals the heart’s inner gate. In the hidden Christian traditions, this is known as the Sacred Heart Meditation.

In the Yoga tradition, it is understood that the fourth chakra is the bridge between the consciousness of the lower three chakras and the higher consciousness of the upper three chakras. Through meditation, prayer, and mindfulness practices, love becomes the bridge between our human experience and our spiritual awareness.

Love is used to purify the heart. By loving, we move from a limited narcissistic understanding of self and life to an altruistic and boundless realization of Spirit as all life. Love transforms the view of self from a narrow, solitary, closed circle into a wide, unbounded field of shared existence.

The words attributed to Jesus in the New Testament, “Love thy neighbor as thyself” (Mark 12:31), take on a more profound significance when viewed from this perspective of oneness and interconnectedness.

Love as a Living Practice in Everyday Life

Love is less an ethereal reverie and more an applicable method to expand consciousness, leaving behind a constricted and rigid view of ourselves in the world. This is the essence of practical spirituality lived in daily life.

Love evaporates the ego and egotistical behaviors. When we love, as unconditionally as possible, we put aside the petty dictates of the ego for the upliftment of those we love.

To give everything we have to love is to surrender egoism and take up selflessness. In doing so, we rise to new spiritual heights, transcending this mundane existence for a sweeter, more sanctified one.

A Spiritual Invitation for Seekers in Raleigh

At Unity of the Triangle, we invite you to explore love not just as an idea, but as a way of being.

Whether you are new to spirituality or have been on the path for years, you are welcome in this inclusive spiritual community in Raleigh—a place where people from all backgrounds come together to deepen their connection to Spirit, practice meditation, and experience personal transformation. Read more about our Spiritual Education department.